what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
