smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
