Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
