please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Enjoy the penises
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
