yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
