I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
