Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
