i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
