I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
