VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
