Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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