If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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