I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
