I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
