I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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