Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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