Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
