I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
