hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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