I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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