Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
