I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
