Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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