Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You ruined the universe
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
