It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
