We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
