Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
