oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
