I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
