Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
