just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
