I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
