I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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