I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
