I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
