He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This is the high leading the old right now
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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