scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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