I hope mine doesn't look like that
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
