If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
