Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize