she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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