I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
