You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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