I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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