His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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