so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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