Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
