I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
