haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
