Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
