There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
