Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Randomize
