I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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