too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i think i just lost a toe
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize