i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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