U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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