Me. At least after what I've been through.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
