I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
