: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Randomize
