So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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