OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
