come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
