At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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