you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
