If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
