i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
