I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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