apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
