I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
