he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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