return my video game
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
