i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
