belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
