New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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