Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We are two peas in an std pod
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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