Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
