i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize