Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
