I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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