Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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