Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
