well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize