So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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