Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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